I might have mentioned before that the Tea Spoon house is close to an amazing park. We can walk there in a few minutes and it’s great to be near to such a vast expanse of open space.
On the occasions when I’ve been dragged out for a ‘refreshing walk’ I’ve seen runners, cyclists, power walkers and those brave souls taking part in British Military Fitness classes.
It makes me shudder just thinking about how horrific I would find those classes.
I’ve never been particularly sporty and in my school years would dread PE lessons and sadly there comes a time in life when you have to face up to the truth that your body no longer allows you eat whatever you like and you no longer fit into anything from Topshop.
It’s time to get fit.
I’ve learnt that I don’t dig team sports. I can exercise better on my own where I can go into my own little world where I win every time!
I originally was spurred on to the face ‘THE GYM’ (said in a loud X-Factor presenter type voice) after being asked to be a bridesmaid. I didn’t know what to expect, except for imagining loud techno music and lycra.
One of the major off putting moments was having to purchase clothes that one wears when exercising. This meant having to go into a sports shop – argh!
Massive anxiety and dislike of all things tracksuit but praise the Lord for Sweaty Betty that’s all I can say!
I was more Mr Muscle than Wonder Women so on entering THE GYM for the first time, it felt like PE all over again but I was fortunate to have such a sweet instructor who was (and is) really kind and encouraging.
In fact, I quite enjoyed it and went back.
Moving house put gym attendance on the back burner and to be honest, who can really be bothered with exercise?
It’s such a faff.
Trying to find a pound coin for the locker, putting on gym clothes which due to there stretchiness are difficult to put on in a ladylike way – more often than not the top gets rolled up and stuck on your head, then getting all hot and sweaty, showering, getting your clothes out of really small locker while trying not to drop your towel and be naked in front of strangers while some people just don’t seem to care and prance about all over the place, drying your hair, looking red in the face for a couple of hours afterwards, feeling clammy from showering and then getting changed at super speed in a damp changing room because you did drop your towel and just want to leave.
I seem to take ages. Even when I’m trying to be quick, everything takes twice as long.
I have to blow dry my hair. I would love to be able to leave it but if I did you would think I had been in an accident or something as it really looks like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards. It’s the sort of hair that when there is ‘fine rain’ it gets what I call a ‘fuzzy’ look to it. You’d see me and think ‘Wow Jess really looks like Fozzy Bear today.’
When some friends took our old sofa bed in return they gave us their old bike. So when my husband went for a run, I would cycle along side, shouting words of encouragement or trying to because it turns out I was so petrified of falling off that I would cycle slower than he was running and he would have to stop running to see if I was ok. Just Imagine!
Then there was the time, after I had realised I can actually ride a bike and was wearing a helmet so even if I fell I was cycling at an incredibly slow speed I would most likely be ok, I decided to cycle to the gym. A double whammy of fitness!
It did take a while to get there as I was cycling extra carefully, hey I wasn’t in the park anymore, this was the big wide world with cars, that when I eventually got there I was so hot and bothered.
Even putting on the lock took me forever.
Oh and then guess what – it was only flippin’ closed wasn’t it.
So I went back to the bike and spent another couple of years unlocking it and pedalled back home.
I have been known to partake in a fitness DVD and Davina is my instructor of choice. The problem is, it’s quite easy to stand and watch and I don’t think is the idea, plus my husband would mock the weights I used (tins of soup) as they ‘wouldn’t be doing anything.’
Recently I purchased a swiss ball. Now they are hilarious in a gym context. All kinds of embarrassing ‘oops I fell off a massive beach ball in front of a room of complete strangers who all look like body builders’ moments are ready and waiting for you should you wish to have a try.
My current ‘thing’ is running. Obviously this all stems from coming 3rd in a running race a primary school when I was 6.
I’m using a training app on my phone and try to go twice a week but with these winter nights drawing in, I’m only able to fit in once a week as I don’t fancy getting mauled by a deer in the park in the dark.
I usually start off feeling great. I have some music playing, I can enjoy the view of the trees, look at dogs leaping about (only if they are on lead otherwise I have to go in the other direction) and can share smiles with my ‘fellow athletes’
That last one is not true. Wouldn’t that be amazing! If I could make eye contact with other people. But such is my pain during the running that if I looked at them, I’m pretty sure it would be a grimace or I might even start saying ‘help! make it stop’
By the time I’ve finished I look a complete state. I’m as bright as a beetroot and as sweaty as pig.
Paint a nice picture don’t I?!
I think music is the key. Good running tracks keep me going. One of my personal faves at the moment is any song by Queen. Another one bites the dust, Don’t stop me now, It’s a kind of magic…all have a good strong beat to run too and when no one else is around I sing along out loud!